Negotiating with Clients

Safety At Work 

What do I have to do with a client? 

Nothing you’re not comfortable with. It 

should always be your own decision to 

offer or withhold services. You should feel 

able to refuse a client or a particular sex 

act at any time. You should never feel 

obliged to have unsafe sex or to use 

alcohol or drugs with a client. Just 

because he’s paying you doesn’t mean he 

can do anything he wants. 

How do I deal with a client who 

wants me to do something I don’t 

want to do? 

Some clients may complain if you suggest 

oral with a condom; others may press for 

you to provide bareback sex. What are 

you going to say to combat that? If they 

nag you, are you going to cave in or 

stand your ground? Always keep in mind 

what you are comfortable with. Are you 

genuinely willing to make an exception? If 

you say no and later say yes, will he think 

he can get away with other things too? 

Circumstances may vary, but whatever 

course of action you decide to take, make 

sure he knows you’re in control. 

Just because he’s paying you doesn’t 

mean he gets to cross your boundaries. Be 

confident and assertive. Prepare yourself 

for some of the more common reasons 

men give for not wanting to use condoms. 

Here are some suggestions of things you 

might hear, and responses you could give. 

See if you feel comfortable using these, or 

modify them to better suit you. 

Negotiating With Clients 

Him: I’m clean, you don’t need to use a 

condom with me. 

You: This is for your safety and mine. 

Him: Don’t you trust me? 

You: Trust isn’t the point, people can 

have infections without realising it. 

Him: It doesn’t feel as good with a 

condom on. 

You: I’ll feel more relaxed if we use one, 

and if I’m relaxed then we’ll both enjoy 

ourselves more. 

Him: I’m allergic to latex. 

You: That’s not a problem, I have non- 

latex condoms/dams. 

Him: I don’t stay hard when I use a 

condom. 

You: I’ll help you put it on – then you’ll 

stay hard. 

Him: It just isn’t as sensitive with a 

condom. 

You: Maybe that way you’ll last even 

longer and that will make up for it. 

Him: Putting it on interrupts everything. 

You: Not if I put it on for you... 

Him: I’ll pull out before I come. 

You: Pre-cum can carry infections too. 

Him: Just this once! 

You: Once is all it takes – and I have a 

professional reputation to think about. 

Fresco from the Casa del Centenario in Pompeii 

No one is really sure if the erotic paintings on the 

walls of Pompeian brothels were to illustrate the 

services available or merely to excite the clients.